Having an almost two-months old means:

- You sleep two hours at the time
- You start referring to yourself as the feeding machine
- The bed that says "The First Years" was only big enough for the first six weeks
- Black clothes is not your friend anymore
- You develop a new eating method where you inhale food
- You spend hours staring at your baby amazed this little being now smiles at you
- You smile back at your baby, who then smiles back at you. This goes on for a while.
- By now you have given up on the healthy diapers that leak and have gone to the bulk store
- You automatically refer to yourself in the third person
- You've realized that having a baby is a great excuse to talk to yourself in public
- You still can't feel your bladder after the c-section
- You still have a long brown line down your belly that the doctor tells you will flake off (??)
- Bringing the Snot Sucker everywhere
- Referring to something as the Snot Sucker
- Showering feels like rebirth. Every time.
- Ammehjerne ("Nursing brain" = postpartum memory loss) is real.
- I can't remember
- Take-out is your friend
- Your body is beginning to feel like yours again. Except for your bladder of course.
- You are absolutely in love and life is pretty amazing.