I'm a Dane without a Denmark to return to
I recently read a column by a Dane living in the US on how him and his American wife had stopped considering moving to Denmark. It hit very close to home for me and I want to share some thoughts on a topic that I think about daily.
In the present political climate, it's simply not realistic/possible for a Danish citizen living outside Denmark (and the EU) to return to Denmark with his/her foreign wife/husband. Last year the Danish government removed a law that allowed Danes who have been Danish citizens for 26 years or more to move back to Denmark with their spouse. This law was specifically put in place to ensure that Danes living outside Denmark had the ability to come home with the families they had established while living somewhere else in the world.
I have lived in the US for 9 years - it's been 6 years since I permanently moved and I have an American husband and one Danish/American child. I am 31 years old, at the beginning of my career and worklife and I can't move back to my home country with my family if I wanted to. I could move back to Denmark with my child and not my husband. But let's pretend for a moment that I was to get a divorce and wanted to use that option - the US government would most likely not grant me custody of my child with permission to leave the US unless the father of my child allowed it and why would he willingly give up his child?
I don't want to have to choose between my husband and/or child and my home country. I guess Denmark has chosen for me. They don't want me with my foreign bagage. I'm being ousted by my culture, my origin, my homeland and punished for exploring the world, falling in love, settling somewhere else.
A common reaction to these thoughts seems to be: "Well you chose to leave, what did you expect? (Danish: Du ligger som du har redt) or something along those lines. I chose to settle outside Denmark, not because I don't like Denmark or my fellow Danes or have any dislike for my own Danish culture whatsoever, but because I found something that was ALSO wonderful and great somewhere else. I took my Danish values and traditions and implemented them into a community in the US. I'm still Danish. I speak Danish to my daughter, I watch Danish TV, I listen to Mads og Monopolet, I cook Danish food, I speak to family and friends in Denmark every week, I keep up with Danish politics and I travel to Denmark with my husband and daughter. But still, I should be punished for leaving my country and not allowed to return.
I don't really want to get into the whole "Don't expect you can just come back to Denmark and benefit from all the free health care etc. after not paying taxes there for 6 years" because frankly I think it's irrelevant to this issue of Danish citizens not being able to move to Denmark with their spouses, but if I had to comment on it, I would say that I want to work, contribute, pay and partake in the Danish society the way I have most of my life and if there were stipulations to how I can do that after living somewhere else, fine. I'm used to living in a country without guaranteed healthcare, where you have to haul your own trash and build your own water supply. I can take care of myself and my family. I didn't party it up in Las Vegas for ten years and now I want to return to Denmark for the free health care and public assistance. I would want to move my family to Denmark to ensure the continuation of the Danish values, traditions and relationships that I have and come from. And I would have perspectives and motivation to do so, that Danes who have lived in Denmark their whole lives don't have. And isn't that really what this is all about? The fear of loosing the Danish culture if too many immigrants and refugees are allowed in?
This piece might be fragmented but so are my emotions about all of this. It feels like a great deal of my future has been decided for me before I had a chance to even think about or plan it and my identity as a Dane outside Denmark is becoming more obscure by the minute.
In the present political climate, it's simply not realistic/possible for a Danish citizen living outside Denmark (and the EU) to return to Denmark with his/her foreign wife/husband. Last year the Danish government removed a law that allowed Danes who have been Danish citizens for 26 years or more to move back to Denmark with their spouse. This law was specifically put in place to ensure that Danes living outside Denmark had the ability to come home with the families they had established while living somewhere else in the world.
I have lived in the US for 9 years - it's been 6 years since I permanently moved and I have an American husband and one Danish/American child. I am 31 years old, at the beginning of my career and worklife and I can't move back to my home country with my family if I wanted to. I could move back to Denmark with my child and not my husband. But let's pretend for a moment that I was to get a divorce and wanted to use that option - the US government would most likely not grant me custody of my child with permission to leave the US unless the father of my child allowed it and why would he willingly give up his child?
I don't want to have to choose between my husband and/or child and my home country. I guess Denmark has chosen for me. They don't want me with my foreign bagage. I'm being ousted by my culture, my origin, my homeland and punished for exploring the world, falling in love, settling somewhere else.
A common reaction to these thoughts seems to be: "Well you chose to leave, what did you expect? (Danish: Du ligger som du har redt) or something along those lines. I chose to settle outside Denmark, not because I don't like Denmark or my fellow Danes or have any dislike for my own Danish culture whatsoever, but because I found something that was ALSO wonderful and great somewhere else. I took my Danish values and traditions and implemented them into a community in the US. I'm still Danish. I speak Danish to my daughter, I watch Danish TV, I listen to Mads og Monopolet, I cook Danish food, I speak to family and friends in Denmark every week, I keep up with Danish politics and I travel to Denmark with my husband and daughter. But still, I should be punished for leaving my country and not allowed to return.
I don't really want to get into the whole "Don't expect you can just come back to Denmark and benefit from all the free health care etc. after not paying taxes there for 6 years" because frankly I think it's irrelevant to this issue of Danish citizens not being able to move to Denmark with their spouses, but if I had to comment on it, I would say that I want to work, contribute, pay and partake in the Danish society the way I have most of my life and if there were stipulations to how I can do that after living somewhere else, fine. I'm used to living in a country without guaranteed healthcare, where you have to haul your own trash and build your own water supply. I can take care of myself and my family. I didn't party it up in Las Vegas for ten years and now I want to return to Denmark for the free health care and public assistance. I would want to move my family to Denmark to ensure the continuation of the Danish values, traditions and relationships that I have and come from. And I would have perspectives and motivation to do so, that Danes who have lived in Denmark their whole lives don't have. And isn't that really what this is all about? The fear of loosing the Danish culture if too many immigrants and refugees are allowed in?
This piece might be fragmented but so are my emotions about all of this. It feels like a great deal of my future has been decided for me before I had a chance to even think about or plan it and my identity as a Dane outside Denmark is becoming more obscure by the minute.
Comments
Post a Comment